the fucking word of the day

[hee-lee-OL-uh-tree]

noun. Worship of the sun.

I remember hearing stories in college about Ibiza, where big-breasted women laid out naked practicing heliolatry on the beaches, and E pills were as abundant as hard candy in an old folks’ home.

[THREN-uh-dee]

noun. A poem, speech, or song of lamentation, esp. for the dead.

I sure as shit hope one of you pricks writes a nice threnody for me when I finally get off this fucking rock.

[ROOTH]

noun. Compassion or pity for another.

Of course Obama is from fucking Kenya. He’s got more ruth in him than any regular jackass American.

[BEY-thos]

noun. Insincere pathos; sentimentality; mawkishness.

I can’t stand these jerk-off guys on the Bachelorette, all laying on the bathos extra thick to try to get in this broad’s skirt.

[SWEYN]

noun. A country gallant.

Sarah Palin knows how to rile up the swains when she goes on tour. The question is, how many of them does she let inseminate her daughter?

[luh-SIV-ee-uhs]

adjective. Lewd; lustful.

She called me a lascivious ape after she found numerous calls to 900 numbers on our phone bill.

[noc-tiv-A-gant]

adjective. Pertaining to going about in the night; night-wandering.

The East Village is filled with gorgeous women, foul-smelling junkies, and piss-drunk noctivagant hipsters.