the fucking word of the day

[SPOO-nuh-riz-uhm]

noun. The transposition of usually initial sounds in a pair of words.

Wattled botter. There’s a fucking spoonerism for you.

[NESH-uhn(t)s]

noun. Lack of knowledge or awareness; ignorance.

I’d like to give Sarah Palin more credit for her dumb-whore-from-middle-America act, but I don’t think she’s faking her nescience.

[kon-KYOO-puh-suhn(t)s]

noun. Strong desire, especially sexual desire; lust.

Don’t get me wrong, I like cocaine. It’s just that sometimes it kills my concupiscence.

[FLIP-uhnt]

adjective. Lacking proper seriousness or respect; showing inappropriate levity; pert.

I wish I wasn’t so flippant over the news, but the fact that your uncle was arrested for engaging in coitus with a dog is too funny.

[KON-juh-reez]

noun. A collection; an aggregation.

I’ll always remember the time I discovered a congeries of dildos in my mother’s closet.

[muh-LING-guhr]

intrans. verb. To feign or exaggerate illness or inability in order to avoid duty or work.

If I were being deployed to that shithole Iraq, I’d start malingering the minute the assholes told me.

[oh-BEE-suhn(t)s]

noun. Deference, homage.

I thought his smelling my panties was too much of an act of obeisance, but it did show that he cared.