the fucking word of the day

[ee-nuh-fahyl]

noun. A person who enjoys wines, usually as a connoisseur.

My mother claimed to be an oenophile, but oenophiles don’t drink Sutter Home wine coolers by the truck full.

[MEEN]

noun. Manner or bearing, especially as expressive of mood, attitude, or personality; demeanor.

In the workplace they adopted a mien of cordiality while in front of others, then went home and played out rape scenarios together.

[PROS-uh-luh-tyz]

intrans., trans. verb. To induce someone to join one’s institution, cause, or political party.

I can’t wait to have children so I can proselytize them into believing the same bullshit religion my parents forced on me.

[NEE-uh-fyt]

noun. A novice; a beginner in anything.

I was a neophyte in the amateur porn scene, and I accidentally recorded over my first tape.

[GRAV-id]

adjective. Being with child; heavy with young or eggs; pregnant.

The other day I masturbated to a clip on tube8.com that had a blonde, gravid woman in it.

[PYOO-uhr-uhl]

adjective. Displaying or suggesting a lack of maturity; juvenile; childish.

Maybe wiping my ass with a few pages of her manuscript was too puerile a response to a break up.

[im-pyoon]

verb, used with object. to challenge as false (another’s statements, motives, etc.); cast doubt upon.

Why is it that a woman always thinks that the most savage thing she can say to a man is to impugn his cocksmanship?